Icky Dadding

Michael Jackson (the singer, not beer hunter or motivational speaker or any other MJ) is by all reports still dead. And he is threatening to take the dad-ideal with him — well, not him exactly, any more, now its mostly reporting hagiography and hangers-on crawling out to claim some part of his relationship with fatherhood.

Two icky extremes from his songs: 1) in the words of his Billie Jean ("The kid is not my son") and, perhaps neither is the girl as stories surface that he is legal guardian and not biologically related to his children; 2) in the words from Beat It ("They'll kick you, then they beat you/Then they'll tell you it's fair") there is his daddy Joe, who knocked his little boy around to "help" teach him to sing and now wants to ride the death train toward the success of his own music label or at least into some of the money he wasn't supposed to get when he was left from the will.

Clean Living, from Dirty Jokes

Dad told dirty jokes and made people laugh. Daughter is inspired and grows up to write and tell jokes for a living. At least according to her new book, "If You Lie About Your Age the Terrorists Win, such is the world of Carol Leifer (at least in the first chapter). Still, it's the story she's sticking to, even on television:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Goin' Fishin'

Unless you're fishing for food (and usually even then), the sport is best celebrated as a time for bonding, whether with others anglerly-inclined or with family. This week's objet d'eBay, the story section from the May 17, 1936 issue of agricultural outland focused Grit magazine.

A wondrous example of father-son fishing are Turners, Jeff and son Taylor, who are taking the summer to fish all fifty states in just fifty days. While their progress can be followed, they say they are on a mission to build and inspire closeness between other fathers and their kids and so it is probably better if you go out and fish yourself.

However, as with all things fatherhood today, fishing is no longer just dad and son time. Gents, drag out your daughters as soon as possible — 14 months is way not too early to bring joy. As so lovingly sketched on the Grit cover, fishing, or just being together, is perfect fun and bonding for everyone ... except the fish.

Not Just Games

The higher than reputable Financial Times opines that it is sport (and pretty much only sport) that gets fathers to spend time and talk with their children.

Unfortunately, it is an article that dims the credibility of the institution (and it's not as if newspapers need more bad news for their credibility). There is also work and religion — or even combined together — as exemplified by Crystal Cathedral's Sheila Schuller Coleman taking over for father Robert H. in the troubled megachurch. [Earlier: Meddling in the Middle] And at the other extreme there is also blame, instead of salvation, as in the case of a Chicago-area son whose dad is charging him $560 for a dent in the car that insurance is already covering.

Sport. Religion. Work. Punishment. Probably more, but too much to try and contain in one short piece on bonding fathers and children.

Ashes to Ashes, Crazy to Crazy

A crazy father (of some inexplicable sort) has passed. RIP Michael Jackson.

He was the son crazed by his father, Joe. And he was the father who seemed well on the way to crazying his own two boys and a girl. Now, in the final words of Ecclesiastes 3 ("To everything there is a season ...") comes the time to stop trying to understand his transgressions and oddities and remember his talents:

...Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?/Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

Let It Rest

Oops. Almost let slip by the annual revelation — times to run before and on father's day — throughout much media that there are such things at fathers who choose to raise kids (aka, stay at home dads, SAHDs).

A new wrinkle on an old story this year came from the whiny father (NB: not WD) who said what would really warm his heart's cockles would be for his wife to help the kids make him a schlocky art project for father's day. More traditional is the reporter who writes like an amazed anthropologist about a father who finds himself by loving his children and not acting like robotman at work. And then, of course, there's the trend piece of daddies who prove just as capable as mommies.

Once again, what's needed is some daditude and the best (as almost always) taken on sacharine (or over-) looks at fathers comes from Daddy Dialectic, this year on the FD Daddy Shift Quiz.

And now we can put FD 2009 to rest. Amen.

L, L and the P of H

Today, we celebrate dads as part of our pleasures of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

For life, we celebrate — but probably not in a good sense — the daddies who will learn to be nannies for 15 minutes of fame on Brit tube's "Undercover Dads" (13 weeks of fathers playing reality Mrs. Doubtfires). For liberty, we look to role playing video games, which often feature dads as someone who dies or who must be knocked off in order to gain greater insight (and goodies) for our avatar. And in the pursuit of happiness, we have nothing but praise for David Barry Hendrickson, 71, who just couldn't let his father go ... to the point of continuing to cash $600,000 of checks the government has sent following his 1995 passing — which the government does seem to be a bit pissed about.

Subterfuge, death and larceny. It's sort of the anti-July 4th.

Protection Racket

Now for the papa protectors.

We begin with the heroic (?) California teens who dragged from their dad's tow truck a woman they believed was their dad's girlfriend. Their parents are separated and they were traveling at the time in a car with their mom, but hopped out to beat the woman, chase her into a nearby hotel and beat up on her some more. And then the police came.

In a bit of a twist, one former protector has turned. A gent named Andrew Young now claims he was faking when he said he was the father of the baby that most people believed actually belonged to former presidential candidate John Edwards. [Earlier: Judgment Days] Neither were married to the mom and both had other children. He's looking for a cool mil to tell his story, but, alas, so far there aren't any takers. Instead, folks looking for the dirt will have to continue to peruse for the dirty parts of Edwards' cancer-stricken wife's book, Resilience.

Or, the person checking for dirt can check the tabloids for the latest, assuming that is, they can get beyond the latest news of whether or not Jon gets the "+ 8" kids [Earlier: J&K + 8 - K = A Better Idea] and how everyone will live in the house, separately. Apparently Jon has decided he has to protect himself.