Getting Press

An honorable book published by serious men in time for Veteran's Day is also — unfortunately for what it probably says about WD or pop culture — a somewhat smutty segue to other daddy news.

The serious book, written by father and son Aaron and Nathan Keirns, is Honoring the Veterans of Licking County, Ohio. Although the book was intended to highlight local, military history, there is something in that title that could attract some out-of-state attention.

Of course, the attractive element is the idea of a licking county, which is the unfortunate segue to the news that a man who isn't the biological or in situ father is claiming fatherhood in order to sell his new book. You might think that the provocatively outrageous Miss J (Alexander Jenkins of America's Next Top model) would have enough to attract attention to his new book, Follow the Model. However, he also felt the need to claim 7-year-old Boris (the son of a French lesbian via the sperm of J's ex-partner) as his own son in order to get some media attention. Apparently, being a dad is the new black.

Quiet Now, Loud Then

There was a father who told his daughters that they would always be part of one of America's greatest problems (racism, and all because they would forever have white skin). Yet, they still made a complimentary film about him. Disturbing the Universe [Earlier: Daddy Documentary], the tale of radical lawyer William Kunstler as seen through the lens and film editing of daughters Emily and Sarah is still making its way without too much press through festivals and private showings in a so-far very limited release.

Ironic, isn't it, that the film of a very loud man continues to move so quietly?

Cracking the Image

The newest father on a book tour is tennis icon Andre Agassi. In Open: An Autobiography the man who once personified gloss &mdsash; is famous for his "image is everything" sales pitch [Earlier: Image Is ...] — telling the tale of how his father shaped him and how he became the man who will shape his son and daughter.

Most of the sizzle of the book is about his drug and hair scandals, but the "steak" is revealed in a question and answer article about the book, he admits to holding up his driven, pugnacious father's behavior in a very harsh light. However, he is pretty confident his dad is still very proud ... not that he would ever read the book: "I don't read, and why the hell do I need to read [your book]? I was your father."

And with that, we can close the file on our inquiry into why the publisher didn't time the release to try and sell it as a father's day gift.

Inside Out Fatherhood Truths

If you can imagine fathers punished for acting well and a pop rewarded years after acting questionably mdash; perhaps the kindest way to phrase it, despite some extraordinary results — then the news about two Hoosier fathers, as well as Michael Jackson's daddy Joe.

Now it is certainly possible that the two fathers being married to each other could well have caused their near-arrest at the Niles, Ind., Wal-Mart store and banning from the chain. However, they only went there to reward for their two adopted twins, not expecting that despite dropping over $200 on various goods and treats, they would be falsely accused of shoplifting and then handcuffed and thrown into the back of a police car.

It is also certainly possible (but very unlikely) that when entertainer Jackson passed [Earlier: Ashes to Ashes, Crazy to Crazy], his last wish was that his father be taken care of in recognition of his importance in shaping his career, and not his influence in creating such a strange and seemingly unhappy mind and personal life. Of course, the final wish doesn't matter and papa Joseph is conspicuously absent from the singer's last will ... a matter the father is trying to change by appealing to receive money from the estate as reward for being who he was.

The recap. To reward as a father is to gain punishment. To punish as a father is to possibly gain reward. Questions?

Is Pops Preggers?

Pregnancy and men can get pretty confusing, particularly when someone says something like, "that dude doesn't have the huevos (eggs in Spanish, although balls, nerve, guts, bravery, etc. in the vernacular) for kids. [Earlier: Love and Longing in Pretend Land and Neo-Heavenly Father]

Eggs, however, is exactly what determines the mother from the father, at least according to a discussion about why pregnant sea horse fathers are not actually the mother. Even so, and completely believing he doesn't have the huevos, four five time daddy Kevin Federline — at least via Perez Hilton — is looking mucho preggers ... not that that is a bad thing.

El Hijo de Mal In His Own Words

Dad was evil. Let's learn, forgive (not forget) and move on.That's the message of Pecados de me Padre, a new film featuring Sebastián Marroquín, son of Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar, as he seeks forgiveness for the sins of [his] father. It's a very unusual thought from a son who grew up in very unusual circumstances, but it gets boiled down to: "I have learned many things from my father. The most important one is that if I want to live I have to do everything oppossite to him. That was my lesson. ... Wherever he is, I know he has to regret what he did."

It's Off to Work We Go

While the standard work flow is from father to child — or great-grandfather to grandfather to father to son, as in the case of the baseball-playing Muellers of Missouri — there are certainly plenty of cases of fathers finding their job through their children. Famously, now, we can add hack Mitch Winehouse [Earlier: Drugs and Dads], about to debut his show.

Winehouse, father of singer Amy, will be interviewing celebrities in "Mitch Winehouse's Showbiz Rant" from the front of his London cab. Hopefully his new job goes well and he makes his daughter proud ... not something that can always be said about his premiere guest, David Hasselhoff. [Earlier: Some S/B in Custody, Others Should Have It and Dadelusions]

A Nnoying

TGFML. Thank God for Michael Lohan [Earlier: Wild or Too Mild? and Stats on Richer and Happier]. Day after day I hear from Things 1 & 2, "you [as in me] are sooooooooooooo (sometimes 'the most') annnooooyyying." However, now that screwed-up daughter/actress Lindsay is getting tweeted and celled and celebritygossipped by dad 24/7 in antagonism to the restraining order she has against him and to the point where she wants him behind bars, I am feeling pretty good about how high on the annoying father food chain I must be.

Bring it on girls, I've got a role model.