Friday, December 31, 2010

Single Laughs, If That

For the new year, Fox International promises a second season of webisodes for Single Dads. The series, ostensibly being internet workshopped for an eventual sit-com, features two fathers, two babies and no moms. It is supposed to take viewers through the hardships of going it alone. Instead, it feels like set pieces that weren't good enough even for Adam Sandler movies.

There is the being thought gay by hot chicks scenario.

There is the "tee-hee" inspiring discussion about having the procreation talk sometime in the future.

And, of course, the minds behind SD found their own two minutes of hilarity going through the well-worn motions of changing a disgusting diaper.

One new year's wish: that at least a few real parents have worked on SD for its second season and that a smidge of respect for the audience works its way into the scripts so it doesn't continue to get the four poop-filled diaper rating.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

He Jes Keep Rolling along

A song (with great apologies to Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein sung to the tune of their "Ol' Man River") to honor the news that Ramajit Raghav, a Kharkhoda (India) farm laborer who at 94 is now living on a pension and has a new son, "god's gift" Karamjit, thanks to the help of his 50 year old wife:

Dere's an ol' river called de Ganges
Dat's de ol' river dat Raghav see!
What does he care if de world's got troubles?
What does he care if no land has he?

Ol' man Raghav,

Dat ol' man Raghav
He mus'know sumpin'
But don't say nuthin',
At 94 he's rollin''
He keeps on rollin' along.

He don' plant taters,

He don't plant cotton,
An' dem dat plants'em
is soon forgotten,
But ol'man Raghav,
He jes keeps rollin'along.

You an'me, we sweat an' strain,

Body all achin' an' racket wid pain,
Tote dat barge!
Lif' dat bale!
Git a little drunk
An' you land in jail.

Ah gits weary

An' sick of tryin'
Ah'm tired of livin'
An' skeered of dyin',
But new father Raghav,
He jes' keeps rolling' along.

He's 94, wife's 50-sometin,

Baby Karamjit a little dumplin',
He ain't got money from de dawn to sunset,
Gittin' no rest till de judgement day.

Don't look up

An' don't look down,
Kharkhoda farmer
Grab de oldest father crown.
Bend your knees
An'bow your head,
An' pull date rope
Until you' dead.

Ol' man Raghav,
Dat ol' man Raghav
He mus'know sumpin'
But don't say nuthin',
At 94 he's rollin''
He keeps on rollin' along.

Ah, gits weary
An' sick of tryin'
Ah'm tired of livin'
An' skeered of dyin',
But ol' man Raghav,
He jes'keeps rollin' along!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Celeb Battles

The celeb "war" between boys and girls has been joined. Ricky Martin has announced that he is looking to do some adopting — clearly putting Angelina Jolie in his sights. Additionally, Elton John, 62, has announced his is a new father — and now we wait to see which famous woman of a certain age is willing to match that!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Josephmas

Today, around the world, people will take a moment to consider St. Joseph — for many the real first father. For the remainder of the year, he comes to the fore only when people who want to sell a house. bury him in the ground (often head first and via a kit).

It just doesn't seem right somehow. Maybe we should hold off all the hoopla of the day until we get to the Feast of St. Joseph, March 19?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Cliche Day

Father knows best and you don't know until you walk in your father's footsteps are cliches, but ones that can take a sad twist depending on the news. For example, Iraqi father Najim al-Anbaky claims he killed his daughter to keep her from becoming a suicide bomber. And then there are the Turnidge boys, father Bruce and son Johsua, who worked together on  plan to blow up Oregon banks ... and who were sentenced together to death for the one murderous bomb that exploded.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Baby Medicine

Want a jolt to your health after a couple heart attacks and a stroke? Have a baby: it's what worked for seventy-year-old Aussie Kevin King.

Of course, it might not hurt that his wife is only 31. He met her while going walkabout after being told by his doctor he had but three years left to live — a prognosis since withdrawn. With baby Pierre one-year-old, King spends his days as a stay-at-home-play-at-home-dad while wifey goes off to earn her keep.

Good on ya Kev!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Do Wah Diddy No Wed

Recently, Sean "P Diddy Puffy Sean John Puff Daddy" Combs chilled with the gals of The View. Discussion turned to what the rap and designer roue thinks of marriage and fatherhood. He revealed a great deal — although there was the evergreen truism that it is better to rich than poor, all other things being equal — by saying pretty much nothing at all.

So the scorecard is six kids, three mums, no marriages and the claim that his strong mother did a great enough job raising him from age 3 on (after his dad was killed) that he knows how a father doesn't have to be in the everyday life of a kid for that child to succeed as he did. He claims he gives his kids oodles of his time, that their orthodontia is completely up to date, and that, "it's more about me being honest with myself and me loving my children and being there for my children," than it is about doing the hard job of staying in the house everyday with his kids and a woman he loves (or loved) only sometimes (or not anymore).

He may well be right ...and he certainly did a great job playing to his audience. However, most revealing was the self-absorption he displayed, proving his main, subtextual point: he's probably not interested enough in others to give all to his kids (or a marriage), but it is very good that he has plenty of money because he'll give all of himself and his money that he can and that will be more than many kids will ever receive.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Waiting On a New King

On his final show, Larry King's youngest son, 10-year-old Chance, did a quick audition to sit in his father's footsteps.

A final decision will not be made until King's five other children (via seven wives) — the oldest and unknown by his father until 2009 Larry King, Jr., Andy, Chaia, Chance and stepson Danny Southwick — all get their turn at the mic. The reality show should be on your television soon.