Achy Breaky Dad

This week's objet d'eBay, a Bally's casino promotional $5 chip, features a swivel-hipped mullet-do'd Billy Ray Cyrus.

Exemplifying the maxim that before he was a dad, every father was his own man, Cyrus is the one-hit wonder of the early 90s whose "Achy Breaky Heart," inexplicably set millions of line dancers in motion.

Today, Cyrus is best known to millions as the couch-perching, guitar-strumming, platitude-spouting dad of "Hannah Montana" (the one of Disney Channel's many witless but popular kid-coms that stars his daughter Miley.). And, despite his numerous albums, acting roles and taking his two left boots on a turn around the flooring in TV's "Dancing with the Stars," Things One and Two mostly experience him even after multiples of hours in his presence — pretty much like their own DOD — as a distraction from what is important, taking up visual space, acting, talking and easily ignored.

** You can give yourself to your kids, but nothing says they have to take it. **