Appearances Don't Matter, Sorta

How the bond between father and child appears to others is not as important as the strength of the bond itself.

Sometimes it seems the bond itself is both strong and praiseworthy. Take, for example, the Millers. Hawaiians Mackenzie, 17, and father Mike, 54, are in training to swim the English Channel for fame (the first father-daughter duo) and fortune (not theirs, they're raising money for charities). The general ridiculousness of the enterprise — they sit themselves in ice cubed wading pools in the Hawaiian sun so as to acclimate to colder waters — is somehow ennobled by doing it together, but pushing themselves so they don't disappoint their partner. As Mackenzie says, "It's pretty cool. I mean it's like, I don't have to think that I am the only person doing this, I have my dad with me."

On the one hand, it is hard for a father to know how to get along with his teenage daughter. On the other, not every activity they both enjoy together looks good to the outsider. And so, a less glorious bond than that of the Millers is the one between the Bates, Gordon Allen and anonymous-because-she's-only-13 daughter. He beat a horse with a pipe while she kicked it in the head. They both agreed it wasn't behaving well.

A somewhat praiseworthy, somewhat silly bond is found with the Mount Dora, Fla., Deffes. Currently exhibiting together, father Chuck and son Adam both use birds as a motif in their work — a blue heron for the dad and ibis for the son.

And then there is the bond that looks normal, but is too complex to provide easy definition. In this case, consider father and son Bush, presidents 41 and 43, who sat on a stage to dedicate the new U.S. embassy in Beijing. The son wants to outdo the father, the father had trouble escaping his dad's shadow and seems at times sorry he can't keep his son under wraps. [Earlier: Eclipsing Sons and Bush Love] It is nice they can do things together, but an intriguing part of the relationship is how they often seem interested in stretching the bond between them.

Still, in general, it is nice when dad and kid do stuff together, even nicer as they both "grow up."