Every Breath You Take

Chillax, daddy-o.

There are times — Thing 2 has a fit about not getting to buy a pair of shoes ... Thing 1 can't believe that at her age she has any bed time at all — that it is best to take a breath and spend that breath evaluating one's limitations.

As the breath is expelled, use the air to dun the child.

In other words, actor George Clooney may not be a dad, but he did have one. And from Prof. Nick he learned that it takes certain super powers to raise a child. Info that Clooney internalized enough to know that at this point in his life he doesn't have the patience or dedication to be a father.

But if you are a father and your child decides to take you for a ride, there is now a daddy cabby meter that lets you bill your child for the cost of their behavior and its inconvenience or other drain on you.

Because, the last thing you want to have happen is to get so upset that you have your kid clock you (since you should never pop your kid), like 39-year-old baby Arnelle just did to daddy OJ Simpson, 61.