Straining the Bonds

How does father-son bonding work? Yes, in the popular imagination it's just about sharing an interest. But is there a real and permanent connection made when a Las Vegas dad is in the stands shooting a documentary of his son's football prowess?

Is that a shared activity in the way it would be if they spent at least a day pretending together they were pro footballing Cincinnati Bengals? What is the real mechanism by which two men can come to love something so much that they participate as best friends (like coaches Gillin of Indian Creek, Indiana) in it when the son grows up?

Surely some of it is in participating together in the same activity. But at least a good bit is also luck, having the right activity come along at the right time with the right participation by both father and son. How else to explain three sons bonding with the same dad (who bonded with his father in used book stores) in activities as diverse as writing, eating and trains.

The mystery of it makes it seems that a book on fatherhood isn't possible, only a 3-ring binder that lets one easily tear out and add scribbles on notebook paper.