Father Xmas?

Who the h*** is he the father of? Does St. Nicholas, "father Christmas," actually sire a holiday? That is the conundrum of this week's objet d'eBay, a quilt featuring the saint, icon, man behind jolly ole St. Nick (aka Santa Claus).

There's a bunch of words explaining who St. Nicholas was and how some guy who allegedly drops gold down chimneys in Turkey becomes a reindeer slave driver from the North Pole. But none of the words seem to get to the point of how he becomes a father.

So, is he or isn't he a dad? Just a few more days this year to ponder it and then we can put away the discomfort (like broken tree bulbs and shredded tinsel) until next year about this time.