Jungle Rules

For dads it's (sorta) a jungle out there.

Corpus Christi (Texas) pop Joe De La Garza was killed by a cockatiel — a parrot like thing — according to his grieving family and perhaps a court, someday.

Perhaps the only thing that could have saved him would have been a house call from St. Charles' (Minn.) Bernard Allen Corcoran, the "mastermind" behind the death of a cat that killing birds in his yard. (Or, maybe they should have called the cat?). Now, the judge did outwit Corcoran by asking if he knew that killing a kitty was wrong before allowing his guilty plea. And it was actually his son — acting on an "unspoken understanding" between father and son — who took up bow and arrow to take on the tabby. Technically, it was the vet who killed the cat, but he was only carrying out the endgame for the diabolical father-son duo and so his hands remain clean — legally speaking.

Or perhaps it was De La Garza's original choice of winged pet for his daughter that was the poor choice. Maybe he would have been better off getting his child a bear, like Ram Singh Munda, who adopted a pet for his daughter after they both lost her mother. Not that it would have been completely without complications. Munda, too, finds himself in court. Apparently, he (or his daughter) had threatened wildlife ... and there are laws against that.

For every jungle there must be a guide. Perhaps a team. And so, to help dads make it through the animal kingdom, it may be necessary to turn to the directing Reitmans [Earlier: Sonday], after all the father was responsible for Animal House, a movie made from "the worst script the studio ever read" and the son is busy outgrossing his father.