Sads

As this year's celebration of daddies quickly recedes, along with memories of the good behavior of children and partners and sincere (at least when uttered) tributes to pops, it may be time to degild the lily.

Fathers make life greater, as in more resonant, not as in always better. Barack Obama sermonized eloquently on the importance of fathers in the life of their children. He found support for the theme in his own example as son of a father who found other things to do besides hang around for his child. Even though he was passionate and convincing about the importance of dads in their childrens' lives, he left one question unanswered.

Not that it makes the case for fathers fleeing, but exactly where would Obama be if his father had done the right things? How could he fly higher?

Fathers don't always bring job; can't always stand in the way of tragedy. Poet Tony Hoagland describes a father mistrodden path in the wake of his son's suicide. Left unanswered is the question of whether he caused or could have prevented the loss.

And mystery, too, is the real life story of Christopher Kirsch, stabbed to death by his schizophrenic son Michael, on Father's Day. What did he bring and what has been taken from the life of his son?

What the father changes is unknown. All that is certain about dads and their children is that in absence there is almost always a tragic presence.