Dissecting Daddy

EEEWWWWWWWWW!!!! Yuck.

Noted Indian doctor BS Ramannavar fought for Indian independence and set up free camps to treat the dentistry needs of poor country men. And all that is good and a wonderful legacy for his son, Dr. Mahantesh B Ramannavar of the KLE University’s Shri BM Kankanawadi Ayurvedic Medical College Hospital. A much more troubling gift, however, is the will mandate where two years after his death son has to dissect father for the edification of the college's anatomy students.

Living On

Two lessons in how a father's spirit lives on even when his heart stops beating come from Kingston, Ont., and San Cristobal, Peru. A 9-year-old Canadian decided that rather than save for his own iPod, he'd have a toy sale to raise money for a headstone to mark his father's grave. Much further south, Mayor Rogelio Vizcarra kept everything in perspective when thieves (probably political opponents) dug his father's body from its grave and threatened to crush the skull if he continued to run for reelection.

One lesson in how to crush spirits while living and from beyond comes from North Korea, where Kim Jong-un is named as footstep follower in dad Kim Jong-Il's evil. [Earlier: Political Pops]

Get Custody, Get Up

In American law there is a presumption of innocence, but not always of paternity. Often the father of the children with a woman to whom he is not married has to struggle to establish his paternity if the couple splits up. Germany has just begun a government-sponsored initiative to provide the right rights for unmarried dads.

Ironically,  a Florida father awarded custody of his boys — the six-year-old and three-year-old twins — just spent his last weekend with them. Unfortunately, he was dead at the time, with the oldest waiting a couple days before letting a neighbor know that his dad "never woke up since he went to bed Friday."

Making a Splash

Even investigative journalism is no match for the mysterious father-daughter bond. For example, in Huntersville, N.C., a father took to the lake to teach his teen daughter to swim. Both went into the water, but only one came out. Oddly enough, it was the teen daughter who was able to take care of herself until help arrived.

Did the father not know how to swim, and, if so, what was he planning to teach?

Did the daughter know how and try to set her father up?

Why did either or both of them think it would be a good idea to float a raft to the middle of the lake if one (the other one?) didn't know how to swim when they could have started on the shore?

And if this was not some sort of evil set up, what kind of father and teen daughter get along well enough to make this a likely scene?

The questions of dad and daughter unfold, but the answers of that particular relationship have most liekly swum away.

Tourism vs. Soul

Each side brings with it honor as Jack Thorpe files his lawsuit against Jim Thorpe (the Pennsylvania city, not his iconic father). It is very unlikely they will leave the courtroom that way.

Son Thorpe, 72, has brought suit against various people and the government of what was once Mauch Chunk and East Mauch Chunk, until they made a deal to merge and rename themselves Jim Thorpe, Penna., and rebury the remains of America's most famous non-warrior Native American. The deal made with Thorpe's third wife — JT is son from the first marriage — was that the town would inter and celebrate the great man's life. The son says fifty years on it is time for the great man's soul to be put at rest through reburial in tribal lands in Oklahoma.

Unfortunately, as is the way of most judicial pursuits, from this point forward younger Thorpe is more and more likely to come across as someone taking his own last shot at fame and money while the town fathers (and mothers) will appear ever more pigheaded and small.

On the other hand, it could be the two sides are in cahoots to bring some more attention to the legacy and create a  little tourist buzz as well. If so (and we can only hope) then consider WD well played.

Wise Council

It's not Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven, but perhaps Bruce Feller's The Council of Dads should be known as "The Six Guys I Trust on Earth."

Albom took maintenance maven "Eddie" through his life so readers could find fulfillment through his interaction with five wise men he met upon passing. Feller, learning he was facing a cancer death sentence, turned to friends for the wisdom he wanted to leave his twin daughters. Recently, he came up with 10 of the most important lessons, but perhaps the most important one was his original inspiration: don't reinvent the dad wheel, refine the one built by others and it will carry your children further.

Son of Man(chester)

No father is just a name. This week's objet d'eBay is the autograph of writer William Manchester. Author of works on large figures and thoughts of history, Manchester was also the son of a soldier he idolized and father of children who were pledged to him. His son, musician John Manchester, has just published a short essay, "Building My Father's Coffin,"  which will be featured in a promised, upcoming memoir of life with a great man who wrote about great men.

How Are You Lost, Father?

In the spirit of the finale of "Lost" — the television series that engages those who read their own lives into it and which will be viewable for those who care in less than 48 hours — WD offers two other inexplicable events that mean only what you see in them.

To begin, there are reports that Lindsay Lohan, the actress who celebrates the "dys" in dysfunction, has announced her father, Crazy Michael [Earlier: A Nnoying], arranged for her to lose her passport in Paris (the city, not equally bizarre celeb). As a result, a California judge is likely sending her to prison, unless she pulls a Polanski.

To end, Wisconsin Leslie (actually Shawn Leslie, 39) severed his connection to pops and grandpoppy in a rather violent manner. After driving their ashes around in his car for a couple years or more, he lost the car and his ancestors to the crusher. He parked the car behind a diner; went away for a bit; returned; and, despite some questions abotu who was allowed to do what to whom and how, he is now both orphan and grandorphan.

Of course, what to make of all of this and what was lost in the middle of these two stories is — like the unreality series — completely up to you.

Connect the Dots ... Soon

In February 2009, Britain's new Prime Minister, David Cameron, lost his oldest son, six-year-old Ivan Reginald Ian Cameron. He has a child due in September — joining sister Nancy, 6, and Arthur Elwen, 4 — who will be the third newborn in the history of the residents of 10 Downing.

Does his daddyhood tell us about how he will handle Britain's economy, which has some significant aspects of a sick child, other than he has faced a horrible situation and kept going? Probably not, at least until his kids get old enough to land on the cover of Fleet Street rags or start twittering their woes about life with dad ... and we can slowly and in retrospect fit the results of his government with the handling of his family.

But beware daddy DC, at some time we will be able to connect the two.

Roll On, Pops

We can do better than to honor a father with a hunk of stone somewhere never visited. In fact, taking up the idea of southern California Teo Garcia, we can drive a mobile memorial. In memory of his dad — and despite a sometimes unstable relationship — Garcia celebrates his father, Teodoro Garcia Sr., with every mile he drives. He affixed a decal with his father's dates, as well as the wish that "Peace Be With You Pops."

Garcia's brainstorm makes so much sense it is a wonder no one thought of it before. After all, how many miles per gallon can you possibly get from a marble monument?

Comic vs. Funny: Dad's Death

A movie and near tragedy remind one that a father's death can be comic, but it can never be totally funny.

Getting very mixed reviews is Death at a Funeral, a Hollywood remake of a British comedy about the posthumous unraveling of a man's life — very, very complicated, secretive and slightly scandalous life — and how it unravels his family as well.



In real life, also comic without really being funny, is Mullion'  (somewhere near Cornwall) Andrew Wythe, 52, whose life was saved by his son spritzing a bottle of Coke all over him. Wythe set himself aflame while trying to start a fire by using gasoline. Son Nicholas grabbed a 2-liter bottle, shook and sprayed away. Comic? Absolutely. Funny? Not so much.

Feeling Unusual

When imagination wanders it can take you to strange places. Well, maybe not you, but some people. Among the latter group is Melissa Auf der Maur, a Canadian-American photographer and alt rock stylist. In her now digitally released Out of Our Minds, there is "Father's Grave." The song begins as an elegy of a loss, but ends with a daughter transferring her feelings of grief for the irrevocable loss of her father to a kiss and maybe more for the man who dug his grave.

Nine songs down comes the eerie:

 

A Sorta Dad-Sons Love Story

Do his sons love him?

Well, they strap him in when he can't. They take him with them to lunch. They sit in the park with him.

And does he love them back?

Well, in the end he does seem to reconcile them — or so (alleged teen filmmaker) Film Yeti lets us consider.

LaRose is Not LaRose

Somewhere in the story of Jihad Jane



is a tale of warning about daughters and dads. It's not yet clear how Colleen LaRose's father became so indispensable a force in her life, but according to reports, it all began to go downhill for the green-eyed terrorist with her suicide attempt following his death.

Let the lessons to be learned from her madness begin ...

Ground to a Halt

Have you, perchance, lost dad?

Kiwi Clarrie Winnie had two families. There was tension and little talk between them. Each thought the other had taken possession of him (his ashes, anyway) upon his passing. Neither had.

For 20-some years Clarrie's ashes &mdahs; perhaps another Angela's Ashes in the making? — have sat at the Hasting's funeral home of Tong & Peryer. Finally, son Chris, 50, began wondering where he might lay a flower for dear old dad and found that the old man was still above ground. He tracked down the urn and took care of the rest:

"It's great to know he is finally at rest. I have just been up to the cemetery and nailed up a cross and put a bunch of flowers there. Walking away I said, `There you go dad. I've done good by you.' It brings closure," he said.

He was lost, but now he's found, wasn't blind, now can't see. Still, amazing grace.

Take, Don't Leave, Your Kids to Work

DadLabs begins February with a quick, sardonic look at how fathers can fail when bringing their kids to work.




While it is painful to criticize the good folks from Austin, they did miss one obvious lesson in failure. Last night's Grammy awards displayed the unfortunate example of a pop (the "king of pop," actually) who took his children to work (being celebrities) and basically left them there all alone. Now they're unprepared and on display, standing in for him, uncomfortable, mouthing lines written by others and not necessarily the better for it.

Lesson learned?

The What If Path

The stories of men are filled with what ifs. What if, for example, John Edwards, the finally-admitting-paternity politician, and the late Matty Gannon had somehow had their lives merged or even switched. Edwards made millions as a trial lawyer and has fought for years to take responsibility for marital indiscretions as well as a child fathered during one of them. [Earlier: Judgment Days] Gannon, a man of relatively modest means, was biological father to one girl and adopted another 23 children, as well as serving as foster father to even more.

Would Edwards have used his money differently if he'd had Gannon's sense of responsibility? Would Gannon have been corrupted by Edwards success, or his hair? What if a little bit of the better of each life had rubbed off on the other? And as long as we're dreaming of a perfect world, what if pigs could fly?

Uh Oh, Sp_ _ _ _ _ _ _Os

Today's news brings the answer to a question few probably knew needed asking. To wit, can you have human children if you are also the father of SpaghtettiOs?


It turns out you can (no pun intended).


Sadly, Donald E. Goerke, acclaimed FoSOs, passed away at 83. His obituary, however, does answer the question above, as he leaves behind pasta-pizzazzed sons and a daughter.

Family Politics

That his pain is being ignored because of his politics is a theme in the very few notices of David Horowitz's book, A Cracking of the Heart. Horowitz is the one-time lefty who migrated to life under the neo-con banner. That trip followed a break with his father and years later sealed a break with his daughter.

It is his daughter, Sarah, and her death at 44 from the congenital Turner Sydrome that is the spark for this father's memoir of how extraordinary his child was, including the questions of what he lost by being who he was.

Ashes to ?

One source is an observation; two is a trend; three is a movement. So, we're watching an uptick in the trend of stealing fathers' ashes.

Naturally, we're also on alert for a movement. A "pretty box" containing ashes of the former commodore of the Puget Sound Yacht Club was stolen from his vacant retirement cabin: his daughters want him back. And, near Detroit, the dad who'd been riding in his son's trunk as a sack of ashes was snatched up.

No motive was apparent in either case, although it is not impossible paparazzi are staking out Keith Richard's house in case he has decided to snort father ashes that aren't his own. [Earlier: Fifth Commandment]