Name the Worstest

It is not completely inconceivable that some peculiar melange of circumstance could turn a cheeeeezzzzzy letter opener, this week's objet d'eBay, into a fab father's day gift. For example, should a 6-year-old quadriplegic child gather bottles and cans and use the recycling money to purchase this for his blind one handed father on "dad's day" one could almost find a tear to jerk.

And maybe a child (and father) with an odd sense of humor would find this delightfully quirky. Probably not. Most likely, the great dad letter opener can be given the pole position in the 2009 race for WORST FATHER'S DAY GIFT. Other entrants include: