Qs&As with DoDads — Rebel Dad

"I never expected to end up a rebel," wrote Brian Reid in a Rebel Dad book proposal/manifesto (pdf file). "I have a graduate degree from an Ivy League university, a 401(k) and a marriage to a high-powered Washington lawyer. No motorcycle. No tattoos. Not even a leather jacket. But six months after my first child arrived I became part of a movement ... being an at-home father is tantamount to a being a revolutionary."

The revolutionary Reid began his blog, Rebel Dad, in 2002 when his daughter was born and he took advantage of a parental leave to stay home with her. RebelDad remains the go-to site for SAHD news as well as an online hub for daddy bloggers. Stealing time from his fathering passion, as well as his journalistic and public relations career, he was kind enough to offer some of the gleanings from his past and present by way of pointing to the future:

WD: When you began there were many fewer dadbloggers, What was the biggest challenge to starting and now continuing RebelDad?
BR: The goal at the outset wasn't actually to build a big, public blog. It was mostly just a place for me to bookmark stuff that I found interesting. ... I wanted to have a place where I could go to see everything that was being said about at-home fathers.

But as time went on, and more people stumbled across it, the community began to build — people began flagging new items to me, more blogs emerged, books were written. It's been great seeing all of these resources emerge.

WD: How are your kids involved in the site?
BR: Just inspiration. They aren't involved and, as a general rule, I don't write about them. This is in part because my personal life is pretty dull and in part because they're not old enough for me to invade their privacy in this way.

WD: What is the best thing you've learned about being a dad from working on the site?
BR: The best thing I've taken away is the passion for parenting that so many of the guys in the at-home dad community have. When you go to the At-Home Dad Convention or read some of the really good dad blogs, you can't help but be inspired to be the best possible parent you can be.

WD: Are you the SAHD you were when you started?
BR: No — as time has gone on and the kids have gotten older, I've worked more and more, to the point where I can no longer claim to be anything close to a SAHD. I've become less obsessed with celebrating at-home fatherhood for its own sake: I still think it's vitally important for both individuals and society, but I'm also uncomfortable when dads get lauded for doing the same stuff that every other parent does.

WD: What are the two or three most interesting dadblogs ... other than yours?
BR: DaddyTypes is just so well-written and funny that it's hard not to include. I love Daddy Dialectic, even when it makes my head hurt. And I read Blue Sloth, too, which strikes me as perhaps the most honest dadblog out there.

WD: A few words on how you'll continue to cure the planet of evil?
BR: As I've moved away from at-home fatherhood, I've become much more interested in the question of work-life balance: how can I keep the passion for parenting that I had when I was an at-home dad and still be the best possible worker? Right now, I have the opportunity to write on that issue every Thursday at the washingtonpost.com's "On Balance" blog.

Qs&As with DoDads — DadLabs

In general, dads are funnier than the other parent. And some are even more amusing than others. Five of the most humorous put aside more honest work to metamorphose into DadLabs. Together, they have 11 (nearly 12) kids under management ranging from in utero to nine; one entertaining web site — over 250 episodes of dadly humorous "tips and advice"; and a book and other deals in the works. Because that is not nearly enough to fill up a dad's life (and possible because Texas football teams aren't playing this time of year), Creative Director Clay Nichols — also responsible for the oldest child, a boy, and his younger brother and sister — spent a few moments offering some of the "behind the scenes" of the scenes they make

WD: What was the biggest challenge to starting and (and is the biggest to) continuing DadLabs?
CN: We quit the day jobs. As idiotic as that may sound, particularly if you've been to the site, we all left nice stable careers in education to do this internet television thing. So keeping the panic down long enough to shoot another show is a pretty big obstacle. Deceiving, er, getting advertisers willing to sponsor the show is pretty tough. And keeping up with the post-production demands of posting four shows a week is pretty tough — the editing and graphics. Shooting is easy, crafting that into something useful and/or funny is much harder.

WD: Do your kids ever come home mad at you when the kids at school tell them what they found when they Googled their dad(s)?
CN: Mostly I just have to wrestle with them to keep them off the computer because they want to watch. They're pretty cute about it. I once got a little disturbed when I found my oldest son watching "The Due Dads: The Man's Guide to Pregnancy" we made about pregnancy over and over until he had memorized all the obstetrical buzzwords. That'll impress the teacher.

WD: Is there one or perhaps two or three episodes that stand out?
CN: The Breast Pump has to be a favorite — that's the one that kind of launched us, plus I'm not the one hooked up to the pump. I think the vasectomy bit was funny, mostly because the doc said so many obscene things we couldn't put on film. I also think Owen's Milk Man is a classic.

WD: What is the best thing you've learned about being a dad from working on the site?
CN: I love being able to do research and stay focused on parenting all day long. It's nice to feel informed. I think the most reassuring thing that I've found is that your instincts are usually right. We know more about parenting than "experts" would probably like us to believe. Men especially.

WD: What are the two or three most interesting dadblogs ... other than yours?
CN: I read daddytypes because he has the most intelligent analysis of dad controversies. rebeldad because he's a good resource to find out what is in the media about dads. There are a number of great, comic dad bloggers out there, recently I've been reading the holmes and busy dad.

WD: Would you like to add a few words on how you'll continue to cure the planet of evil?
CN: We've got a book deal in the works, which I have no idea how we'll find time for. I'm avoiding writing a feature that I've been assigned by Fit Pregnancy because I am neither fit nor pregnant. I am procrastinating that until the situation changes. I'm also learning from my son what Destination Imagination is, and why exactly I've been recruited to be involved. Oh, and we've got two DVDs out "Due Dads: The Man's Survival Guide to Pregnancy" and "Due Dads: The Man's Guide to Labor and Delivery" Both are available at www.dadlabs.com/store/

Boys with Toys

Four Austin boys with electronic toys are having fun, having created (so far) 221 episodes of DadLabs videos — although Ad Age only counts 90 so maybe there is a counting issue — and a few fewer blog entries.

Today it is "Starter Pets" on the video and the most recent blog entry concerns the puzzled dad puzzled by the requests and puzzles of his kids. Fathers still haven't reached Martha Stewart, Dear Abby or even Dr. Ruth peaks, but it is good to see someone's working on it.

** They claim to be "Taking Back Paternity," but don't ever hint at where it has gone. **

ED, fixed; PT Now!

Perhaps the answer is some sort of Viagra-like pill. Only for toddlers ... and to make them poop on a father's command or demand.

Viagra answered a question few knew needed to be asked. Although The New York Times did refer to somewhat limp (I know, but who could resist) sales in 2004, they also laid out that the little blue pill is part of a multi-billion dollar market. Who knew ED was a problem prior to the solution being made public. Why does it get a solution?

PT, however, is a very public problem. A worldwide crisis, if you carefully consider peruse your meida. Newspapers run the rants on the tribulation of potty training; bloggers tell tales of Wiggles in the bathroom serenading the successful scion; as well as the fear that decades of dirty diapers could doom the college fund. And there's more.

But that's enough. It's time for a crusade.

Until science solves potty training, I say boycott them.

** And when that's done keep up the pressure until science does something to help us out at the other end of the age spectrum, when we return to diapers. **