IGB

Tremendous, positive messages are flowing into and out of the "It Gets Better Project," set up to give hope to kids whose sexual orientation has caused them upset. Most are specific to the presumed audience of gay, lesbian, transsexual and transgendered children who are bullied at school or feeling alone and hopeless and that the world would be better off without them. However, from hope and support grows H&S.

One for fathers comes from gay dad, Nico Diaz, who adopted his son as a sickly infant and then had to fight both the life threatening illnesses and then a court system that threatened to take his son away. Similar to the message contained in the video posted as part of the project,  Diaz has a simple message for fathers struggling: It Gets Better.

My Father the ?

This week's objet d'Ebay, a picture book about a girl who thinks because her father fetches the paper and balls that he might really be a dog, inspires wonder about what children really think of their fathers.

The really wondrous thing, of course, is the capacity of children to love, no matter who their dad really is. Or, even if he suddenly calls a family meeting to announce he has decided that after 51 years as Paul, after children and grandchildren, he has decided to live the rest of his life as Paula.

Living With It

Hunter or voyeur? Men have a (mad, wicked) hard time keeping eyes from even momentarily wandering to any women entering the vicinity. There's the pseudoscience explanation; there's the random noise explanations; and there's the "live with it" argument that they do and women do as well, so let's all take advantage of it.

The practical leads to a more interesting question.Women also seek out women to look at. For example, magazines that focus on women readers all have women on the covers (as do magazines for men). And this is not just a sexual preference debate as gay men are respected as hairdressers, clothes designers, etc. for their ability to analyze what a woman needs. And, obviously, lesbian women are also drawn to looking at other women.

This in no way excuses the rudeness involved in suddenly turning from the person one is speaking with to check out another, but it still leaves the question , why do we all have such a difficult time keeping our eyes off women? Or, maybe the question is that since we don't ask why we breathe air, why do we bother to question this?

** Why didn't evolution encourage hunters to check out other hunters in case of a threat even more avidly than they consider mating possibilities? **