Choice Leavings

Today's party game for fathers is "what would you rather leave your child?" The options are an inheritance of immunity for crimes or free money from the government.

On the one hand, you could be crime boss John Gotti and leave a "teflon coating" to your son, Junior. Father eluded conviction three times by virtue of a mistrial (before getting snatched for life on the prosecution's fourth try) and son, privileged inheritor of the "gee, I dunno nothing about that dead body" gene has now beaten his pop's record, achieving four mistrials in the last five years and home making breakfast for his six kids.

Your other choice is to Bruce Beeler, whose passing two years before his wife gave birth to a child doesn't keep her from his social security survivor's benefits, according to a federal judge. Six-year-old Brynn will be banking some federal funds for college in the name of the father she'll never know until we all go Back to the Future, unless a judge's decision is overturned on appeal.

A get-out-of-jail free card or a free pass to the nearest bank. If you had the choice, which Monopoly card would you deed your kid?

Inherit Tense

It would seem correct to say that throughout history there has never been a dad who didn't die; but then you have to admit there are a bunch of dads still roaming the terra firma. While one is probably on safe ground suggesting their mortality, you never know until you do.

So let's consider inheritance. For example, actor Sean Connery has given son Jason a certain amount of genetic talent and name recognition. But how much of his money the father has to leave his son is a current gossip kerfuffle between the real Bond and his ex-wife (as of three-plus decades). Is no money okay?

It wasn't, for example, with 29-year-old Benjamin Holding, a (fellow) Scottish TV exec, who knocked off his 70-year-old dad and picked himself up a nice BMW, as well as a few other toys, before getting nicked and sentenced to life in prison — which turns out to be only 15 years, but that's a whole different post.

On the other hand, not getting the money doesn't seem to be the problem for British chatterer Jenni Murray, who for more than two decades has been going on (and on) about women's issues ... as she sees them. Murray, instead would have been happier whether in life or upon his death getting a dose of her father's love and attention, at least according to a reading of her recently published autobiography, "Memoirs of a Not So Dutiful Daughter." Of course, she does admit she became who she did and good at what she does in large part because of what her father wouldn't share.

Finally, sharing the inheritance doesn't seem to be a problem between Congressman and Senator Kennedys. Son Patrick has never had to worry about the money that spouts copiously from family fortunes and father Ted has never been shy about sharing his thoughts also. Tonight, at the Democratic convention, they are likely to be on screen together often — as backers of the nominee, as reminders of the assassination and promise of their senator uncle/brother Bobby 40 years ago and president uncle/brother Jack 45 years ago.

They will also be featured as a father who passed along a message of service to his son:

My dad would always say when I was growing up, ‘From those to whom much is given, much is expected,’” said Patrick Kennedy. In their family, that meant that when his brother, Edward M. Kennedy Jr., lost a leg to cancer as a young man, their father would cite their access to good medical care as a reason for striving to spread such gifts to the less fortunate.

So, when assuming the father actually will die and wants to consider the right inheritance, it seems the ideal is to show the money, but don't forget to pass the wisdom as well.

Love between father and child is never about money. But being wealthy never hurts.

It's even an easy excuse. For example, take the story of the 11-year-old Indian boy, who "loves both parents equally." Given his options thanks to a mano-a-womano custody battle, he chooses to live with his richer father. We can hope his mom isn't too angry, given his maturity in using that as his reason, even though the court did note, " ... But it would be wrong to say that [the father's financial status] is the only reason why he wants to be with his father. There appears to be some bond between the two."

Another child with a special bond beyond her father's affluence is Juliet Hartford, who has been taking care of her father — the late grocery story heir, a one-time bon vivant and latter bankrupt, Huntington Hartford. Despite his profligacy with what could have been her inheritance, she kept plugging away at trying to save him from himself ... and after all the years it was cancer and age, not his libertine ways that got him.

Bankruptcy also played a key part in the relationship of CEO Jun Haraguchi and his dad. Fortunately for him, papa Haraguchi's company fell down the tubes, freeing him to pursue his dream of rockstardom. And the pursuit of that dream gave his dad the opportunity to confess his own musical dreams, cementing a bond that had already existed without words. Young Haraguchi's quest for his dreams led to wisdom, other opportunities and, of course, making papa proud.

Because, no matter what other's say — and no matter how many times a child comes palm face up and awaiting allowance — it's never the money that forges the bond.

** This isn't to fight the truism that "money makes the world go 'round," only to aver that it isn't what keeps fathers and children together as everything spins around them. **