Where His Dad Sat

Time to move beyond "my/his father's shoes" as the cliche — as in my/his father's shoes are large ones to fill.... Fortunately, we've got just the spectacle to help.

The shoe words and images are pretty well shopworn. In addition to all the bad Hallmark poetry and spiritless obituaries that have dragged it down, we've also lived through the country ditty "Walking in My Father's Shoes," and the made-for-tv snorefest, "In His Father's Shoes."

What's needed is a new way to say or do the same thing. A few years ago Eric Clapton tried working with "My Father's Eyes." Nice, melancholy, but not something that draws attention to itself.

Not like RISKING DEATH in your father's seat. That's the way that Robbie Knievel rolls. [Earlier: Daddy Daredevil] Next May, Evel's son will try and jump London busses, the stunt that ended his father's career. Junior Knievel will even upgrade to a Harley, just like dad. So let a thousand cliches bloom, a million images fly as we praise the son for trying to fill his daddy's seat.

The F Word

Forgiveness.

It remains a possibility even in the most uncomfortable situations, assuming the actual scenario is not quite as disgusting as it might be. So, it is likely that the ashamed three kids of Martyn Lamb, a British pest controller who handled pressure in a rather socially unacceptable way, will eventually forgive him — particularly since a judge let him off for exposing himself after the newspapers exposed his predilection to gain serenity now by dressing in public in such fashions as headpieces, thongs, high heels, stockings and suspenders.

Nineteen-year-old Jack Ball was sort of forgiven — the judge handed down a very lenient sentence — after a high speed police chase of him and his dead dad on dead dad's motorcycle. It is true that DD was in an urn and that the whole ride was conceived as a tribute to the late man's final wishes. But that didn't make it right ....

Speaking of not right, a son should not talk about f*******ng is father, no matter how handsome and eminently f***able he is. Such is the lesson we can take away from Josh Brolin admitting about his father that

“My dad is probably one of the handsomest guys ever,” says Brolin. “I was making a joke and I said, ‘If I was a chick, I’d f—- you.’ He was like, ‘You can’t say that! Shut your mouth!’”

And, no, forgiveness is not forgetness. Some ideas just can't be erased from the brain once they get there.