Awe Struck

As Judaism sits on the cusp of its Days of Awe, it may be worth every father — not just the Jewish ones, since this isn't the worst idea you'll be presented with today — considering who he is, how he sees himself and how his loved ones relate to him. In short, do you want to be the California dad whose 39-year-old son trades your car for $50 in crack or theVirginia father whose 9-year-old saved his life when it was threatened by a diabetic siezure.

May you get a good signature in The Book of Life.

Check

It's PICTURE DAY here in Whinydadville. Apparently this is a big deal for Things 1 and 2.

Hair: check. Makeup (i.e., acne scrubbers): check. Coolest outfit that does not look like you're trying too much: check. Check from WD for pictures that can be taken better at home: check. Father's mystification: check, check, check, checkmate.

Moving On

According to a recent World Economic Forum report, Great Britain is less financially secure than Peru. So should a concerned father say "pip, pip, cheerio" to the pride of the Union Jack and "hola" to the land of the llama?

He might consider it in his role as breadwinner, but in his role as dad he might keep in mind that Peru — in a "groundbreaking" vote — is now offering four days of paternity leave while Parliament just approved a parental split year of leave, giving dads up to six months of quality time with their newborns. Not to complicate the decision too much, there is also the fact that most dads don't take all the paternity leave they're due.

What's a dad to do? We recommend giving himself a break from his worries and comforting himself on his unchallenged role as the funnier parent:

If You Say It, Do It

How much does Elton John want to be the father HIV/Aides infected 14-month-old Ukrainian Lev? The boy, and his baby brother, spend their days (may spend all their young lives) in an orphanage, where they caught the eye and heart of the flamboyant singer.

John announced his interest in adopting the boy along with his partner, but, reasonably enough, Ukrainian law decrees that an adopting parent can't be more than 45 years older than the child. More arguable, the law also says the parent can't be single and, unreasonably, couples in a heterosexual marriage can adopt while those in a single-sex marriage are barred.

But what's to keep John from being intensely involved in the child's life even if he is barred from taking the boy(s) with him? What's to keep him from living as a father to the best of his abilities and circumstances just as so many other dads do? It's one thing to say you'd like to be a dad with your partner some day — as Neil Patrick Harris recently declared. It's quite another to take the full plunge by single dadding four Sierra Leone orphans, as did Brit Matthew Morgan-Jones. Within that spectrum leaves plenty of room for John to step up to his stated desire of fatherhood ... and we hope, Ukranian government notwithstanding, that he'll dive right in for the sake and benefit of Lev — a child unlikely to have many better options.

Or Not to Be

It's a race to the non-birth.

An Israeli researcher, Dr. Oren Hasson, posits the existence of "super sperm." SS have the speed and power to fire past a woman's biological defenses and fertilize an egg multiple times, ruining its fetal capacities. At the same time, researchers around the world are pursuing the dream of male contraceptives that can be ingested, not worn.

What's a father-to-not-be to do, other than wonder what would happen if he actually did take up an increasingly complex job?

Hot to Trotsky

Leon Trotsky, the featured radical on this week's Time Mag objet d'eBay, was a revolutionary father who couldn't keep sons Lev or Sergei safe from Stalin's harm.

Among other sons he inspired is David Tierney, son of Canadian film producer Kevin T. The inspiration is The Trotsky, a story written by the young Tierney about a boy who decides his biological father has been used by fate only to provide the sperm that allows him to live as a reincarnated Leon.

Dads' Poll Bearers

Admittedly it's only daddy intuition that says so, but we got scr**ed by Liberty Mutual.

To peddle a few more policies they are promoting a survey maligning fathers as worser steerers than mothers. The survey comes up with results like

"Moms are more likely than Dads to follow precautions to protect their teen while on the road, such as asking that their teen call them when they reach their driving destination (89 percent of Moms vs. 79 percent of Dads)..."

as if demanding a call was the same as protecting a kid. And it relies on self-reporting without taking into account the greater likelihood of a man bragging about screwing up something when the outcome doesn't cause a problem. It seems to offer no controls about who drives when or how much and, as reported, seems about as statistically valid as an online poll discussing Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin as BFFs.

But it's out there. It will be quoted. So, thank Liberty Mutual. Why again couldn't you just stick to suing other insurance companies and leave fathers alone.

A Lying Father Remembered Lovingly

"The aging process is not gradual or gentle," wrote John Mortimer in "The Summer of a Dormouse: A Year of Growing Old Disgracefully. "It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn’t ready to appear ridiculous."

However, if one is to grow as "ridiculous" as the late creator of Rumpole and other characters eventually did, there has to be some, if not enormous solace in knowing that one has created in life the love among one's children great enough to produce the eulogy his daughter Emily has penned for the man she claimed was having fun living, lying and loving up to his final breath.

Not quite as eloquent, but equally loving is the tribute to a fellow fictionaire, Dominick Dunne, by his acting son Griffin.

The lesson to be learned surely is to raise kids who love you and can write. Good luck with that.