J&K+8 - K = A Better Idea

Assuming all the paparazzi-media brouhaha over TLC's Jon and Kate Plus 8 is true and the Gosselins [Earlier: Ultimate Fictional (Fathering) Championship] are goners, marriage-wise, "Could it soon be just Kate Plus 8?" is still not an acceptable lede. As noted more than once a particularly memorable episode of "real life" for the family of eight showed wife Kate criticizing no-prize Jon for breathing.

Is there any way American can be asked to vote to kick her off the reality island and have father OctoJon take care of the twins and sextuplets? If by chance any of the five daughters comes forward years from now to claim a parent was really the Zodiac killer who terrorized the San Francisco area years ago, for example, is there anyone who doesn't believe that she would be fingering Kate? (She is certainly the more annoying one in the eyes of Thing 2, a big J&K+8 fan.)

Hopefully, joint custody can be worked out — or whatever is best for the 8 — but the automatic assumption (and even after seeing her on television and knowing that she spends most of her time promoting herself through books and speeches?!) that the mom automatically should get the kids is somewhere between insulting to dads and just plain stupid.

Daddies, Daughters, Danger and Love

It's all about the danger. Swimming. War. Even dancing.

Imagine how wonderful it would be to hear your daughter say, ""This week, it's all about my dad." Those are the words of Coral Rebana, 10, whose dad returned from his third tour in Iraq in time to surprise her as a date for her first dance, a Montana daddy-daughter gala.

Consider how wonderful it is for Longmont (Colo.) daddy David Holt whose daughter Emily, 9, crowed to a reporter, "… [father-daughter synchronized swimming] is really awesome, because — well, you just have the chance to show off to the other dads what your dad can do."

No guts, no glory. Or maybe it's just all about the love.

Delivering a New Constituency

Daddy Pothole, former New York senator Al D'Amato, has done it again. [Earlier: Senator Doer] The 71 current and former fixitforaprice maven announced he has once again generated life, presumably a girl to match boy he had less than two years ago with his wife, 43, and as an addition to his four grown children, 14 grandchildren and the various warnings about older dads.

Tale Tellers

A recent father's report on his 9-year-old shooting his first turkey is odd in how much he presumes he knows about what his son thinks — as well as apparently thinking he knows what the turkeys were thinking as well. It seems unlikely that when the son tells the story he will be quite as focused on the buying stuff aspect of the story or that he will remember quite as much of his dad forcing him to shoot.

Conversely, how different would be the story told by the father who died a few days after taking his son to one last basketball game than the way it is framed by his son. No doubt dad was happy, but you have to believe his sense of regret at what he would miss, as well as the racking physical pain at a time of joy would change the tenor of the story as well.

Part of what makes the father-child relationship so complex is how each person can claim the story as their own. For instance, when Anoushka Shankar discusses touring with her Sitar-master father Ravi, the less attractive aspects of him ignoring her half sister (singer Nora Jones) are turned into a story of how she embraces her entire family. If the father were to tell the same tale, he would probably agree on the joy he gets from being on tour with his daughter, but any details he might include about his "other" daughter would likely be painted in tones of self- justification or as a story of discovered-love.

The takeaway, I suppose, is that the truth of the father-child relationship all depends on who tells the tale.

Promises, Promises

One day there'll be a son's story of emerging from the worldwide shadow cast by his father. That, not necessarily this week's objet d'eBay despite its title, is The Promise of a Future. The 1968 album is by South African trumpeter Hugh Masekela, whose sounds and fight against aparthheid have touched the world. The movie-to-be, if internet snippets can be believed, is by his only son, Selema Mabena ("Sal") Masekela, an American distant in time and space enough to natter on about celebrity gossip and the winter X games.

It will be interesting to see how the son treats the father — who is currently promoting Phola, his 35th album, with nary a mention of his son. It will certainly be kinder than that of essayist Joe Queenan, whose excoriates his abusive, alcoholic father in his just released memoir Closing Time. [Earlier: Write Good and Evil, Not the Middle] However, given how little notice Masekela the elder takes of his son, and how unusual it is that a man with so much to give and numerous marriages has had but one child, the unique story of this particularly distant relationship is truly a promise awaiting fulfillment.

Billion Dollar Bonds

Every father wants an exceptional child. Exceptionalism, however, comes at a price. In his new book, "Showing Up For Life," Bill Gates Sr. details the price he paid (as well as some of the satisfactions) for some of that exceptionalism.

Gates, father of Microsoft Bill G. Jr., explains how he had to learn to let go of his son, and not just because of the family famous water-thrown-in-the-face-during-dinner incident. By about 13 the proto-billionaire was on his own intellectually and sometimes physically as well. The key to the relationship they have today, however, was making sure a bond of trust and love continued. That bond may not be as much as the one between the father and his daughter who bit the cops who arrested him or of son Thomas and alleged serial killer Drew Peterson as the son explains his mom's death with, "accidents happen" while insisting his father is "the world's greatest dad." However, the bond between the Gates is certainly on display in happier circumstances as the father, 83, has worked for his son for 10-plus years, guiding the philanthropic efforts he is now handing over to his "retired" child.

Maybe it is the father, not the son, who is really exceptional?

Cutie Pie

Cute.



What else to say?

Why'd They Off Dad? Or Did They?

There's a Youtube-inspired rumor of a dad-son thriller coming this summer. The promo makes it seem as if it will be the tale of a son who learns about himself by learning about his dad. However, there is something odd about the video:



Maybe this is only the rough cut for the trailer for "The Sins of The Father," ostensibly the Summer 2009 release — oddly there is no movie mention on IMDB or RottenTomatoes — of a potential blockbuster about a son searching for the truth about the death of his mobbed up dad.

Of course, if there is no movie, then the mystery of the boys behing this and their dads only deepens.