More Dirt. More Fun?

Lucky for this week's objet d'eBay, a toy Alfie who is part of the Thomas the Tank kids show, he will probably never have any little excavators. And while that's not the usual WD sentiment regarding fatherhood, it is foremost in thought as the story of Alfie Patten, dad at 13, has gotten infinitely sadder and more bizarre, which didn't seem possible at first glance. [Earlier: What's It All About, Alf]

Since it now seems there might be a good bit of money involved, some other lads are stepping up to claim that they fathered Alfie's now-alleged child with a 15-year-old mother. The sordidness of Alfie's bio has taken a turn southward as well, with the family of the young mom encouraging his overnight stays and a father who seems only to have settled down on top of to-be-mums (including young Alf's), never with them.

Naturally, if he gets kicked out of this tabloid tale — and he finds he has enjoyed his moments in the dirt — he can always cross the pond and claim a role as man of the family for the Suleman 14 [Earlier: Meddling in the Middle], since the octuplet-plus mom still hasn't made anyone an honest dad ... and, really, what would one more child be.

The familial mess of the boy/man, and the potential for things to get only ever stranger, does certainly add a shiny patina of irony to (the toy) Alfie's catch phrase of "...more dirt means more fun."