Showing posts with label animals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label animals. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Father-Lizard News

The Yin. The Yang.

Singaporean Bima, a Komodo dragon, is father of a newborn of so far undetermined sex after being caged up with Yoko for the last year. Apparently this gives hope to imprisoned Komodo dragons worldwide as it is the first time a dad in captivity has been able to sire.

Unfortunately, there is balance to the good from Eastern Kentucky, where a 44-year-old human dad led his 18-year-old on a crime spree that saw them pickpocket a 2-year-old bearded dragon named Big and then try trading him for hooch.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

No, I didn't Say 'Rabbit Ears'

This week's objet d'eBay, a window decal declaring a mammalian parental relationship, may well be something to stock up on. Thanks to scientific advances, rabbit penises can now be grown ... and perhaps someday attached to humans much as we now have other animal organs transplanted to humans. Sometime in the future, f***ing like a bunny could well be taking on a whole new meaning: get your sticker before they run out.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Elephant Lessons

Making a point about youth violence, writer

Monday, August 10, 2009

Men v. Rams

Men (dads) are not sheep (dads). Not literally, anyway.

Based on a completely unscientific survey — based itself on one father's sleep-deprived memoir of his six and one-half years waiting for his son to sleep through the night, as well as the experience of one champion ram — it appears that sheep have a pretty good run, but not for very long. Memoir pop, Pete Nelson, has just about caught up on lost sleep and is beginning to feel frisky again about six years after his son, Jack, was born. On the other hand, Britain's most expensive ram Tophill Joe, having spent the last six years making googly eyes (and then following up with a bit more physicality) at ewes, has passed on to that grand stewpot in the sky ... or maybe closer to home.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Questions of Identity

Everyone is drawn to news of groups with which they identify. Comfort is offered by the struggles of similar others; glory is reflected with their achievements; and pride is discovered with the supposition that facing, or having faced, the same circumstances, one would do better.

So what is to be learned or felt from (real life father of two; stepfather of one) Tim Robbins playing the father of Iron Man Robert "dad of Indio" Downey Jr. in the upcoming movie. And how is one to feel about learning that Tom Cruise can go all googlyda when son Connor is up for a part in a movie?

How far should one identify with Emer, the Emu who fled the farm the night Mrs. E laid an egg — Emu dads are responsible for sitting on the eggs, sometimes not eating for the two months of incubation? And what to make of the discovering that the frightening macho monster dinosaurs of yesteryear were actually homebodies who would take care of the eggs of many ladies?

So many differences from one group is a bit a much, a fracturing of the looking glass leaving the observer with the puzzle of how he wants to put all the pieces back together.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Unlikely Storylines

While usually it is the father or child who creates the storyline, sometimes observers (i.e., the media) take a snapshot and then create one of their own.

In the news today, for example, is the tale of how Brad Pitt has created a worldwide movement — from Australia to Norway — for men to become involved with their children. We also have the male penguin couple who are being used to save the children of a penguin pair who have not proven themselves adequate in the egg-taking-care-of department. And, finally, there is the media reporting that Mark and Andrew Madoff, sons of Bernie the bilker, were uninvolved in their papa's perfidy.

Now Brad seems to like playing dad, but the original goal was clearly to git with Angie, not lead a movement. As for the penguins, they may have had biological urges to take care of eggs (penguin fathers nest over the eggs laid by the moms), but it strains the bounds of anthropomorphism to cast the story in the light that somehow the penguins are really little gay men in tuxedos and webbed feet. And while the Madoff boys have so far turned up clean, they have long profited from dad's drive; were the major players at the firm; and so far seem to know everything about everything at the firm ... except what their dad did with $50 billion and how they might go about paying back friends, family and clients.

But at least for today, the popular story line about certain dads and their kids continues to diverge from the likely truth. Let's see what turns up tomorrow.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Dog Days

Ladies and gentleman, we are sniffing around in a "brave" new world. Snuffy done up and got two bitches pregnant.

The progenitor is an afghan (talibark?) hound, also the world's first cloned dog, according to the Korean scientific husbandriers who brought him to be and pimped for him. Heading up the effort that first brought Snuffy (an acronym for Seoul National Univesity puppy) is out-of-favor researcher Hwang Woo-Suk, who has continued in animals after he got kicked out of people in a stem cell research scandal.

So, it is not unlikely we'll be cloning people dads soon, too. Maybe they'll all be like the average Australian dad with his 2.3 kids — cloning can have consequences?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Fathers Time

Hope and sadness are mixed in the news that 60-something Lonesome George may finally father.

The most famous of the dwindling supply of Galapagos tortoises has lived his bachelor days in relative peace and without sowing any wild or even tame oats — as far as anyone could tell for thirty, forty years. But now he has mated twice. And there are babies. Lonesome no more.

In a similar situation is Nanu Ram Jogi, who shortly will be celebrating the one-year birthday of his youngest, a daughter. It is his 21st child and presumably (?) last as the nonagenarian is getting up there. Of course there is no way to rule out his going after the record of Australian miner Les Colley, who offsprung at 92. Jogi takes his responsibilities as a dad very seriously: "I go hunting most days and eat whatever I catch. Lots of food is my secret to staying healthy. I will survive another few decades to take care of these kids!"

Could George and Jogi one day find themselves in the same "daddy and me" class?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Lions and Tigers and Bears ... and Penguins

Apparently, penguin daddies are the scariest of all God's creatures. Their story is the most banned, boycotted and controversial in libraries today.

** Nothing scares like real-life daddies. **