Yessir, That's My Baby

Sometimes, maybe, it will be better to let the child find a father figure on his or her own, rather than have a paper dad thrust upon him or her. That at least is the hope in Britain, which has just changed laws (and birth certificate wording) to make it easier for single moms and lesbian couples to have children without also having to select and/or name a father.

Along with the need for a named father (and, since we seem to be moving ever closer to lab grown children we might not need to name either parent soon) we can now also question whether dads have to hang in the same room as their partner, who is giving birth. A somewhat questionable study suggests dads just get in the way. Apparently, some people — a few dads-to-be, in this case — aren't as good in stressful hospital situations as others.

** Based on the bills I received, he should have smacked the gonif anesthesiologist. **

To Your Health

First there was news that older could be worser, health wise [Earlier: Biological Clock]. Now a study emerges that fathering younger — as a teen — might lead to more baby health issues.

So, it is with trepidation that WD reports what seems a very positive and healthy story of a father and son planning a joint Boston Marathon (Apr. 21) inspired by concerns for their own health and dedicated to running and raising money for the hospital that faced up to the brain aneurism that threatened the son's life ten years ago.

Naturally, health and marathons bring to mind Team Hoyt, a Massachusetts institution. Dick and son Rick have competed in more than 900 races — father pushing quadriplegic son — and 25 times on Patriots Day in the Boston Marathon. They missed 2007; no word yet on 2008.

** Health is an undefined mix of a dad's heredity and the environment he creates. **

Buffoondad's Real Life Legacy

There are still people who believe a dad can't (maybe even shouldn't) care about kids.

Not Greg Bishop. "I just love babies," says father-of-four Bishop, president of Trauma Care of America Inc and leader of daddy boot camps. "Some guys love dogs. I love babies. I think 18-month-old babies are the most wonderful things on the planet."

Buffoondad disagrees:



So Buffoondad is better off without his kid ... and the kid is likely better off as well. But not every dad is BD (maybe not any dad outside of those in or insanely influenced by cliche writers and spouters). Ask Bishop and the 160,000 men who have taken his classes if a man should know about a child he fathered but was never told about. Ask them if the child be better off?

Those and other questions are on trial in York, England, where a judge is ruling in a case prompted by a 19-year-old who hid her pregnancy and the birth before putting her child up for adoption. She argues the relationship between her and the man was casual.

** Odd and sad, but true. BD is actually PC — and BS. **

You Must Be the Dad ...

In a clip that has nothing and everything to do about being a father and loving your son, Arthur makes his acting debut:

**" ... But I can't be the dad. ... My Hero." **

Faux Macho

Today's objet d'eBay is (drum roll please) the comb-over of daddying, a camo diaper bag.

Who — or whom — could one believe he was fooling? Infant juices are staining clothing, bottles of formula are being juggled; eyes are propped open with toothpicks, a female voice is criticizing from the distance; and there is likely to be intermittent and seemingly arbitrary crying. But faux war exterior allows dad to keep his macho on?

Furthering the spirit of self-delusion, a secret list (inspected by No. 5) is stuffed in one of the bag's pockets and gives the purchaser permission to call yourself Brad Pitt and sleep with Angelina Jolie and wear geeky glasses so you can spend money like Bill Gates.

** The perfect daddy shower gift, assuming liquor or other stupefying substances are sardined in it from bottom to top. **

Cuddles

Women are right. At least about the importance of cuddling. Perhaps surprisingly, men are equally wonderful doing it with boys or girls. Such are the findings of researchers at Sweden's Karolinska Institute who tested dads to see if physically bonding with their Caesarean-delivered newborns would bring some peace faster to the nursery. And it did.

** The downside: expectant fathers will be under more pressure to appear in delivery rooms where better behavior is also expected, rather than in hospital smoking areas and neighborhood bars. **

Bootie Camp

If the title is misleading, then your head is in the wrong place. We're talking newborns here!

Women have nine months of internal preparation and presumably a lifetime before that of chickchat to get ready for the baby. Men need less time. Programs vary, but the experts who set up the program seem to feel real hombres may need as little as one day in Daddy Boot Camp to prepare for feet that aren't yet ready to pitter or patter. But if you can't find time for one day, you can always live as the bad dad and just have faith it will work out all right.

** Bootie camp or not, people can tell you everything about having children, but nobody can really tell you anything — you just have to muddle through like the generations upon generations of dads who precede you. **

THE DADDY VOICE - Strollers

THE easy stoop is for a women drivers joke, but it could be moms and nannies do it more just because they are with the kids more. Don't stand on the sidewalk — or worse, between parked cars — waiting to cross the street with the stroller in front of you and exposed to traffic. The species did not survive with the babies protecting the senile.