Get Custody, Get Up

In American law there is a presumption of innocence, but not always of paternity. Often the father of the children with a woman to whom he is not married has to struggle to establish his paternity if the couple splits up. Germany has just begun a government-sponsored initiative to provide the right rights for unmarried dads.

Ironically,  a Florida father awarded custody of his boys — the six-year-old and three-year-old twins — just spent his last weekend with them. Unfortunately, he was dead at the time, with the oldest waiting a couple days before letting a neighbor know that his dad "never woke up since he went to bed Friday."

On the Way to Forgotten

The Goldmans, father David and son Sean, should have consulted an agent as well as their lawyers before coming home. [Earlier: Christmas Gifts] While the reuniting of father and son on Christmas eve after years of international legal battles should have been the story of the year, with book and movie deals pouring in, it doesn't seem to be working out that way. At least not yet.

Buzz is dying down, with only one hook being publicized: when will Sean call David "dad," with no updates since new year's eve. It's as if that Tiger story combined with the terrorist threat vacuumed up all the air from other celebrity balloons. [Earlier: Some Tiger Snark, Putt Putt Yuk Yuk and FotY 2009] Perhaps the only hope is that the folks in Brazil — the family of David's mum — haven't yet given up.

There will probably never be complete normalcy. Here's hoping, somehow, there is enough money to be snatched to make things a bit easier ... since there is no way the pain can ever be made up for.

Sometimes Pops Get Happy Endings, Too

Kids in real life and adolescents (and 20-somethings) in love get stories with happy endings, but dads rarely do. However, it does happen sometimes and at least a few of those times should be noted, if for no other reason than as balance to all the tales of daddy woes.

Jones Creek, Texas, dad and grandad K.M. Watson got a chance to look his baby in the eye, just 43 years after she was born. His teenage sweetheart, pregnant with his child, was sent away from him and gave birth to a daughter who would be adopted and whisked away eight days later. After years of search and both father and daughter starting other families of their own, they finally got a chance to meet up in an airport lobby. The result, as the father tells the story, "I just found my daughter,” he said, crying openly. “I looked for her for 43 years. I’ve got all my babies. I’ve got all of my children with me now. My family is complete."

Mizzou men will also be getting some good news, thanks to changes in state law regarding father's rights. Dads who want to stay in touch are given second (and maybe third chances) before being separated from their kids and DNA results will be accepted in new ways to let some guys off the hook who aren't ready to step up and take responsibility for kids who aren't biologically theirs. Happy endings, both.

Along those lines, changes to the law and in social attitudes have provided many more divorced men with a much more fulfilling time with their children than they ever would have had during the marriage that failed. And that is perhaps the most dream-comes-true ending of all.

Yessir, That's My Baby

Sometimes, maybe, it will be better to let the child find a father figure on his or her own, rather than have a paper dad thrust upon him or her. That at least is the hope in Britain, which has just changed laws (and birth certificate wording) to make it easier for single moms and lesbian couples to have children without also having to select and/or name a father.

Along with the need for a named father (and, since we seem to be moving ever closer to lab grown children we might not need to name either parent soon) we can now also question whether dads have to hang in the same room as their partner, who is giving birth. A somewhat questionable study suggests dads just get in the way. Apparently, some people — a few dads-to-be, in this case — aren't as good in stressful hospital situations as others.

** Based on the bills I received, he should have smacked the gonif anesthesiologist. **