Threesomething

The evil triangle of relationships, memorably analyzed in Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit, is an occasional (if always unfortunate) theme of father children relationships.

Today's evidence comes from the case of the Yonkers (N.Y.) Ibrahims. Father Salah took at shot at his daughter's boyfriend, but only after son Michael whacked his sister's suitor over the head (before losing his cudgel and getting whacked himself). Police intervened after said boyfriend spent two hours locked in Ms. Salah's apartment, surely not the end result father and son were looking for.

A Man Has Needs

We always root for dads to be happy However, it is best for their kids if they can be happy without too many complexities.

From "Dear Abby" comes the question of a son troubled by his 83-year-old dad's dating. The man's wife (son's mother) died 30 years ago so the socializing is not a problem. In fact, the son was happy for his dad, but has now become troubled because while he has continued to date woman, for the last 13 years the father has spent more and more time dating men, as well. He explains that dating men "is very rewarding and much less complicated." Despite that, the son is troubled enough to write to someone he doesn't know with the hope that millions of people who didn't previously care will read about his troubles.

Throw Dad a Life Preserver

There's a dad fantasy — not a problem if the father is divorced or otherwise single — that the child he loves will comes to his rescue, relationship wise.

But children have their own lives. so don't count on Liv Tyler, interested in a potential Broadway musical career, or Amy Winehouse, reportedly reliving her childhood in lyrics and song, to take even a moment out of their lives for poor old pops Steven and Mitch.

It wouldn't be that hard. It would probably only take a few moments to sign their dads up with the British reality show "Date My Dad." But can pops expect even that?

Not likely. So, it's good to know that Mitch will get his own radio show and Steven, hopefully recovered from his latest stint in rehab, can continue his rather peripatetic dating dance on his own.

Day's Doubles

Dad news today is all about doubling: beds, dates, twins and even beds.

First, Britain's Fatherhood Institute issued a report encouraging hospital policy changes to allow couples giving birth to book a double so the new dad can overnight in the hospital bonding with and learning about his new child.

Next, up is the just published Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with My Dad. What did the gay author, Bob Morris, learn about hanging with his widowed Pa? His dad shared wisdom many dads teach their kids — although not always in such circumstances — that good is usually better than perfect.

Then comes news of the 59-year-old new dad, whose 56-year-old wife has given birth to twins after their combined 35 years of marriage (together, even). Obviously, life has gotten harder, but Qassem Sukkarieh says nothing could be hard enough: "When I get into the house, tired or even exhausted, and hear one of the babies crying, I forget all my fatigue and smile .... I have waited for these moments for years."

And, finally, there is word of a son who may be following his dad into space. Krosh was in a 1992 Soviet space ship and now one of his sons have joined with 39 others being considered for a possible Mars landing. Oh, did I mention father and son are macaques?

** Gentlemen, you have two of them. Use them! **

Pity the Fairy Tale Man

Who is the male Jennifer Aniston (not that the JA portrayed in gossips is really her either)? Where is the beautiful, talented, wealthy man who somehow can't find his own Mother-to-Be?

Which neo-post-sensitive XY-chromosomed sapient homo sapian is heartbroken in his search for his soul mate and father to his children and so stands in for all us less blessed losers? Where is this father-to-be having his sperm frozen until he meet the mother of the eggs made just for him — or until he finally gives up his quest and goes to the egg bank (chick coop?)? Is he (or maybe them) somewhere out there beyond the grasp of even blogging or vlogging celebrity? Has he been scared off by a media much happier to cover 21-year-old sirer or seven Keith McDonald? Is it just a matter of economics — and, really, what isn't? — and for some reason stud fees are important and mare fees aren't. (Even when stud fees aren't worth it.)

Can't find him? It really isn't any wonder that Bachelor Father — the fairy (not this serial dater) tale of a wealthy Hollywood lawyer's search for his MTB — meandered on ABC, CBS and NBC without making too much of an impression.

** Why no male JA? Societal prejudice. Alas. Weep. Whimper. **

Six Years On

Creaky, but not crusty. A newly-published study of 11,600 Swedish people identifies males who are six years older as the perfect target for women desirous of more than two children. (The average for the "more mature" spermers was 2.2 kiddlings. Should a man marry a woman who wants .2 of a child?)

** The study also found that when the relationship fails, both partners usually go younger shopping. **

Dating Unreality

Someday two-time tennis Grand Slam finalist Mark Philippoussis will be a dad. Just like Rod Stewart and Larry Birkhead. In the meantime, "Scud," aka "Flip," is doing a dreamlike parody of the process of selecting a procreation partner.

"Age of Love," premiered last night on NBC. The premise of this reality [sic — can this accurately be written without giggly emoticons] show is that the 30-year-old will choose between "kittens" in their 20s and "cougars" with hot bodies in the spa of death's anteroom (i.e., at least age 40). It is unlikely these are the ages he is looking for.

A few years ago he was engaged to Australian teen popper Delta Goodrem, who was lost without him. And last year he broke off his engagement with Florida teen model/heiress Alexis Barbara. Search out his dating history and there does not seem to be a mention of "older" women. Poor baby?

By all accounts he is a nice guy and, there is no reason to doubt that like Stewart and Birkhead he will one day be a father — maybe even a good one. However, it seems unlikely this is the best training for that time, no matter how painful to watch or pleasurable for him.

** WD suggests mandatory reading, or even a podcast, on being a father. Philippoussis' dating is pretty much exactly what it won't be. **