What's His Line?

There is no way around the biology: One can't father alone. What "the choice" of mate say about the father, however, is not always a clear message. For example, does Sunderland's Keith Macdonald make poor choices about "girlfriends" or is he just unlucky in love?

MacDonald, 25, fathered first at age 15. Now, he is dad of nine children by nine mums — or possibly 15 kids by 14 women. His latest breakup offers little clarification of the state of mind for the unemployed (clearly no amateur he) progenitor. It seems his pregnant-with-twins, 24-year-old latest went a wandering after spending three months in cohabiting bliss. An unemployed 20-year-old DJ has captured her heart and so she is off to raise her babies — her last she promises — with him. Poor Keith will apparently be left with nothing but the solace available from his nine or 15 or however many children he has ... unless, somehow, his heart (cough!?!?, cough!?!?) allows him to rebound once more.

Not Quite Masterful

Like a rhinoceros in the living room, it is difficult to miss the irony of the latest Nike ad. On the eve of the golfing whoop-de-do in Augusta, the Just Do It company unveiled a commercial without their catch phrase. And their star, in black-and-white (take a moment, think about it), is Tiger Woods, who just did it and is now being punished for it. Adding even more, he faces the disembodied voice of his father, the late Earl Woods, who just did it as well with a lady other than the one to whom he was not wed. [Earlier: Some Tiger Snark]

Do it, indeed. As the ad asks, "Did you learn anything."

Unhappy Should't Mean Insane

A Yorkie dad stabbed his teenage daughter 13 or so times and killed his 4-year-old son in order to get back at his wife for her affair. That he then went to have a pint and calm himself doesn't even seem that much more crazy.

That one man pushed the needle past the red zone on the father-insanity-meter may offer some perspective to the "how stupid could he be" questions circling ex-NY love guv Spitzer [Earlier: "Eliot...Eliot...Eliot; Tsk...Tsk...Tsk"] as we watch his political career swirl down the drain. And his marriage? And his relationship with his daughters? Will his story be worth learning from?

What about those of other (once-) unhappy dads?

Mitch Winehouse's affair is now being trumpeted as a key influence in daughter Amy's music, although it did not do much for their relationship and can certainly be blamed, fair or not, for some (heck, let's go for all) the self-destructive parts of her life.

And it is probably good for all their cartoon-like careers that father Hulk "Hogan Knows Best" had an end of marriage affair with his daughter's best friend — she's 33 and on the prowl for some celebrity of her own.

If only the father really could be a (not holy, but not profane, either) trinity. Then he could do best for himself, best for his children and, if married, best for his husbandrying.

** Original sin? Fathers, like everyone, have to overcome original idiocy. **

Forget About It

It is true that People magazine named Matt Damon the "sexiest man alive 2007." And it is true that he responded, "You've given an ageing suburban dad the ego-boost of a lifetime!" But, honestly, he's a multimillionaire movie star. Where's the proof of his sexihoodidness?

The real sexiest man alive, at least in the daddy division, is John O'Connor, husband of former Supreme Court Justice's Sandra Day O'Connor. The couple's son John revealed that the 77-year-old Alzheimer sufferer and nursing home resident made ambrosia out of lemons, landed himself a girlfriend while maintaining good relations with his wife and son.

** Dad's overcome obstacles every day, but few so gloriously as J O'C. **