Faster, Daddy, Catch Them ... Now Me

Every kid wants dad to go faster. They trust their father to protect even as he is takes them to speed's hairy edge: "Can't this car go faster? ...Look that boat is passing us! ... Catch him daddy!"

Of course, not every child is on the downside of retirement age when s/he gets revved up about the speeding papa. But not ever child is Fred Miller, whose father, Gordon, is apace to drive a car and boat 100 mph (separately, not combined — or worse — at the same time) in order to celebrate his 100th birthday.

But, as with all things, kids do eventually grow up. (Thing 1, still a few years away from piloting her own vehicles into — and hopefully out of — danger, is grabbing at the gear shift; Thing 2 isn't ready even to move to the front seat, but is eager to pick out the mammoth four wheelers she will steer through suburbia.) One of the rites of that inevitability is the defeat in one or more things of the man who they so easily trusted with their safety.

But that guy, dad, doesn't always offer a victory. Sometimes he won't be beaten or the child exhibits a talent the father never developed. Other times, as in the case of funny car drivers John Force and daughter Ashley [Earlier: Car Culture], he just doesn't show up.

** It is a mystery of time that it doesn' t matter how fast or slow a father goes, children still grow up too quickly. **