Thursday, July 30, 2009

Disentangling for Dadding

While it is complicated to be "the father" when one is not biologically or geographically completely in the child's life it is still important and necessary to DAD UP!

Among men showing the way are actor Jude Law (father currently of three with an ex-), who pledges to also be a big part of the life of the child conceived with last year's fling. There is also writer Gary Blitt who found himself in the ironic situation of not wanting to be a dad, agreeing to be a dad and then finding himself infertile ... before agreeing/encouraging the "adoption" of a sperm donor dad and finally finding himself more and more in love with his new daughter.

The reason it is important to have role models for difficult situations is so that fathers facing the seemingly intractable can have hope — no matter how hopeless the situation appears or how intricately woven the obstacles seem — that they will be able to find their way to happy fatherhood. Currently, poor baby William needs all his "fathers" to figure out how to live for him. In the British boy's case, there is the husband of the surrogate mom who needs to find his place; and then there's the brother of SM, who asked her to carry the sperm of his lover (and here is where it gets even more complicated) who he is trying to marry, assuming he and his lover can get divorces from the men they previously married, who were both "cuckolded" by an affair that all began over a shared love of dogs.

Complicated? Sure, but not without some hope if they'll all just DU.

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