ED, fixed; PT Now!

Perhaps the answer is some sort of Viagra-like pill. Only for toddlers ... and to make them poop on a father's command or demand.

Viagra answered a question few knew needed to be asked. Although The New York Times did refer to somewhat limp (I know, but who could resist) sales in 2004, they also laid out that the little blue pill is part of a multi-billion dollar market. Who knew ED was a problem prior to the solution being made public. Why does it get a solution?

PT, however, is a very public problem. A worldwide crisis, if you carefully consider peruse your meida. Newspapers run the rants on the tribulation of potty training; bloggers tell tales of Wiggles in the bathroom serenading the successful scion; as well as the fear that decades of dirty diapers could doom the college fund. And there's more.

But that's enough. It's time for a crusade.

Until science solves potty training, I say boycott them.

** And when that's done keep up the pressure until science does something to help us out at the other end of the age spectrum, when we return to diapers. **

Good & Evil

Thanks to the internet it is pretty easy to steal and claim wisdom as your own (although it is also pretty easy to be caught at it).

So let me claim this story about a father and son. The middle aged son in his time of middle aged troubles, seeks wisdom from his father. "Dad, do you still battle with evil?"

"No, son. Certainly it was a constant when I was younger, but now, as I approach eternity, evil doesn't tempt me as much. I battle mostly with questions of good."

"So, you have it easy and I can look forward to the same?"

"Well," replied the father, "you can look forward to the same, but it is much harder to battle with the good in your life than in evil."

That story of father and son may be stolen from a better-told parable, but poorly related as it is, it is still of much greater truth and significantly less overall impact (most unfortunately) than
the father and family stories millions believe from America's wrestling arena.

** A dad's life is always much more soap opera than hour-long family drama. **

Hey, Hugh There

Is it too much pyschobabble to wonder what effect on the possible future POTUS was had by father Hugh Rodham, who according to Hillary Rodham Clinton biographer Carl Bernstein was"a sour, unfulfilled man whose children suffered his relentless, demeaning sarcasm and misanthropic inclination, endured his embarrassing parsimony, and silently accepted his humiliation and verbal abuse of their mother."

HRC loved him, worked endlessly to please him and, apparently, was left disappointed and at embittered. Perhaps that aftertaste of her father is the basis for her willingness to work hard but compromise early to settle for what she believes she can get (reality) and her quick criticism of Democratic opponents who have dreams they want to achieve?

** Could it be that America and the world will now pay for the sins of a father? **

Daddys' Man

Do you want the finger that can set off the Big One to belong to a sleep-deprived sexagenarian father of two pre-schoolers? If so, Fred Thompson — who with his first wife also has two older kids (a third died of a drug overdose in 2002) and five grandchildren — could be your man.

Or, to put it another way, do you want to support the a firm and focused stay-at-home-dad? A SAHD looking for work, but so committed to being with his young kids while trying to make work work that he has decided to run for the only government position you can perform while in your pajamas in your own taxpayer-provided house, whith a whole staff is assigned to the kids to help out while you're on the phone?

Daddytrackers may have their candidate.

** If it matters, he may also have policies. **

No Sleeping on the Job

By their existence, kids give to fathers ... but probably not in any way they'll understand.

Recent testimony comes from Baltimore Orioles journeyman infielder Melvin Mora and sometime-superstud, sometime-Mr. Jolie and Shawnee, Oklahoma's own William Bradly Pitt.

According to Mora, who speaks of no sleep and the pressure of suddenly being a dad five times over during the season, he didn't get much sleep, but, "the kids helped me in one way, because I thought about them, and it made me play harder."

In a recent interview, Pitt took the better scripted approach on describing fatherhood: "It's the most fun I've ever had. ...It's also the biggest pain in the ass I've ever experienced." He also said he wasn't getting much sleep and blamed it on the kids (as if it were all there fault and had nothing to do with a disheveled Angelina Jolie within easy pawing distance).

** Kids are the work and the work is for the kids. **

Crime and (Family) Punishment

On Labor Day it is hard to ignore the accepted notion of dad as the premier worker for the family. But, obviously, some work choices by fathers are easier on the kids than others. Criminal activity — despite the book and movie romanticization of crooks with hearts of gold — seems like something that takes a toll, whether the dad's a Japanese Yakuza or just a Chicago hood.

** Some days it's good to bring your work home with you; but those days are fewer than most dads think ... and the number probably lessens more depending on the work itself. **

Car Chat

This week's objet d'eBay is a father-son special (or, I suppose daughters, although Things 1 and 2 are unlikely to be interested in the grease under the manicures aspect) for those fathers and sons having one last summer weekend and not that much to do.

It's time to re-build a car, taking over from the father and son who built what is described as a "once in a lifetime project" and then unassembled it. Hopefully, we an wish you happy motoring! But at least we can wish you happy puttering around the computer for a while and then the garage.

** Cars. Endless projects. Dads. It all just sort of flows together even as everyone knows pieces everywhere in the garage or on the driveweay and lots of cursing is how the story is likely to end. **

Coming Home

Fathers among sailors returning to families in northern California after months at sea were greeted by children they had not been in hospitals to see born and by t-shirts reading "My Dad Is My Hero" and "My Dad Rocks."

Coincidentally, new in the world of books is the revelation that Dick Cheney's dad was in the U.S. Navy during World War II and his return inspired the future VPOTUS to believe for many years that the U.S. Navy intermittently turned him into a bird. Indubitably, this explains so much ... but what?

** War for dads is always "war-torn." **