Fathers eat. And it's always nice when they eat well. Father's Day is on the way and this week's objet d'eBay, the 2005 Gourmet FD issue, is just one of the many places to look for recipes to make dad's heart happy by tempting his tummy.
The fact is you shouldn't always count on dad to command the kitchen.
Maybe Tripp will get a daddy. Little T, of course, is the son of the estranged Levi "huh?" Johnston [Earlier: The Sparking and Misfiring Daddy Brain and Unmarried (Teen) Dad Smackdown] and Bristol "daughter of first-dude-to-VPOTUS-wannabe Sarah" Palin. There were reports that Bristol's daddy offered her a car to stay away from Levi, but while "huh?" says it's time for him to play the field there are also, oddly, little hints that maybe they'll have a storybook reunion, and patch up the broken home over the head of T.
The path seems to be leading towards Cutie kids. The [future] father was caught frolicking outside his Catholic priest garments with a woman [Earlier: "The Talk" Talk] , who he is now planning to lead down the Episcopal church aisle. If you and your God are good, then all that's left is to go forth and multiply, Cutie.
In somewhat related news, a father who was not caught messing around while frockless may have put the Baltimore Archdiocese on the hook for up to $10 million. A brother and sister say the (presumably celibate) father is their dad. Their claim, at ages 63 (he) and 56 (she) is for "lost child support" ... and likely financial interest in place of the personal interest the two adoptees never received from their father father.
And now for the whinydad's-eye view of the world:
On the one hand, to get one small ephemeral smile we are willing to type 146 letters (in order) into the iPhone so our preteen daughter can listen to Radio Disney when she is otherwise out of range.
In return, we can be stabbed by our daughter after she eats the dinner roll we were saving. (Obviously, this is not the breaking of bread that we beg our children to indulge us in.)
Men have trouble keeping off the weight during pregnancy. That, according to the British pollsters, is despite not actually being pregnant themselves.
Potential pounds don't scare everyone. Father-of-seven Mel Gibson "loves being a father" enough to take up with and impregnate a girlfriend despite his to-date strict Catholic beliefs. It is, however, apparently frightening enough that a father might leave the woman with his child in prison. Dallas Maverick star Dirk Nowitzki seems afraid enough of weight gain and other issues to have actually fled the country while his child-to-be lolls about behind bars.
What's a man to do? One solution currently suggested (via The Baby Formula) is to have the father-to-be not be a father:
We don't recommend this.
Good news for youtubist Ben Gullett, 15. He seems to have gotten his father a job through his efforts. It is true that his dad, Mark, hire himself as part of a new company. Still, in these tough times would he already have the three clients for his start-up if not for his publicity-producing son:
With that accomplished, it is time for the wish-granting fairies to sprinkle their magic in the direction of Xavier Johnson, 13. As he raps into the camera, just keep his dad, U.S. Army Capt. Alfonso Johnson, and all the soldiers safe. And bring them home:
Once they come home, no doubt, the children will go back to being kids, but that's the theme of a different post.
Should you happen to be wandering through Owen Sound, Ontario — or need a reason for going — consider stopping by to see Dads2: The Toddler's Revenge. D2 is the musical sequel to Dads in Bondage, which also used puppets for kids (as if that were actually possible) and was also inspired in the mind of Robert More, father of four.
In talking of his work, More explains it's all about parent choices of how to live their life once they have had kids. At least for publicity purposes he is willing to go out on a limb to suggest, "...[fathers need] to keep your curiosity, to find the surprises, to keep the joy in life. And family life is one way to get there."
More starts his work with children already in the picture, which is why his work might not speak to Desmond Hatchett. The 29-year-old Tennessean has caused a bit of a problem for the state by impregnating 11 different women to the tune of 20 (or maybe 21) children. As a court decides how to spread his $400 child support payments equitably among all entitled to them, he says he's done playing sperminator, which would suggest he has exhausted his curiosity, found all the surprises and lost all the joy of his life. Family life? Not!
It is not completely inconceivable that some peculiar melange of circumstance could turn a cheeeeezzzzzy letter opener, this week's objet d'eBay, into a fab father's day gift. For example, should a 6-year-old quadriplegic child gather bottles and cans and use the recycling money to purchase this for his blind one handed father on "dad's day" one could almost find a tear to jerk.
And maybe a child (and father) with an odd sense of humor would find this delightfully quirky. Probably not. Most likely, the great dad letter opener can be given the pole position in the 2009 race for WORST FATHER'S DAY GIFT. Other entrants include:
